Changes

One of the characteristics of a sex addiction is the tendency to isolation, secrecy and privacy. This can go on for years before it is revealed; and sometimes it is too late. There are three distinct instances when our intervention as pastors is requested: when the addict comes upfront asking for help, when the spouse learned about the addiction or when we are the initiators. Ted Roberts talks about confronting the Christian congregation in matters as sex addictions: “I gave an altar call for people struggling with sexual issues. No one moved at first. Than, the dam broke and they lined up three to four deep at the altar. ” (Robertson, Ted: “Pure Desire”) This is a very bold attitude and I believe ineffective in our communities. However, we can send a clear message, in which we can destroy the two myths that keep addicts away from confronting their problems. “I am the only one fighting this” and “I am not hurting anybody. ”[[http://www.blazinggrace.org/theanswer.htm]] Also, we have to provide a safe place where they can feel comfortable analyzing and efficiently fighting the addiction.

The second instance 1. When the addict comes upfront asking for help, when a pastor is approached is the spouse learned about the addiction or when we are the spouse accidentally discovers initiators. Ted Roberts talks about confronting the Christian congregation in matters as sex addiction of addictions: “I gave an altar call for people struggling with sexual issues. No one moved at first. Than, the husband dam broke and they lined up three to four deep at the situationaltar. ” (Robertson, if handled wrongly creates Ted: “Pure Desire”) This is a great marital distressvery bold attitude and I believe ineffective in our communities. In earlier chaptersHowever, we have already discussed can send a clear message, in which we can destroy the consequences of various addictions on couplestwo myths that keep addicts away from confronting their problems. So, here they are, “I am the wife feeling betrayed, lied only one fighting this” and cheated on“I am not hurting anybody. ”[[http://www.blazinggrace.org/theanswer.htm]] Also, while the husband we have to provide a safe place where they can experience feelings of guilt or still blinded by his passions, gets defensive or even blames feel comfortable analyzing and efficiently fighting the wife for his failuresaddiction.

2. The second instance when a pastor is approached is when the spouse accidentally discovers the sex addiction of the husband and the situation, if handled wrongly creates a great marital distress. In earlier chapters, we have already discussed the consequences of various addictions on couples. So, here they are, the wife feeling betrayed, lied and cheated on, while the husband can experience feelings of guilt or still blinded by his passions, gets defensive or even blames the wife for his failures.  3. The third instance is the repentant addict seeking help. Have you ever read the Parable of the Prodigal Son as the story of an addict? Hieromonk Savatie Bastovoi proposes a new approach: the son enjoyed the riches of his father (marriage) until the day when he thought that it is not good enough; so, he left the house and really enjoyed his time away (the virtual world of easy pleasure and lust.) But, this consumed him until he had nothing to offer, and was a slave (the dark side of any addiction.) He ended up eating with the pigs; it was nothing human left in him (inability to see clearly; all women are sexual objects) As any addict he creates plans to avoid responsibility for his actions and does not trust the endless love of his father (an addict does not trust that his spouse can provide him with enough love and support to help him fight the passions.) Desperate, he comes to the priest for comfort and help .